Starting Over. Again

The beginning of a new year always fascinates me. People dream dreams, make plans, look to the future. Many think about trying something new. Some wipe their slate clean and resolve to start over. Last year I had one New Years Resolution.... Don't eat at McDonald's for the whole year. Not a very ambitious endeavour, but I did it all the same. 2011 was McD-less. What will 2012 bring?

For me it's going to be starting over. Again. I hate starting over, especially when it feels like I have done it a hundred times. Each year it seems that I start out with grand ideas only to have them fall apart. I did not get to run a marathon this past year. First missed year since I began running. I did not keep my weight off. I have gained a few pounds. I have not increased my mileage. Actually my mileage shrank in 2011. Today I ran 6 miles. I haven't ran six miles since Thanksgiving day.

Why try again? I'll only screw up. If the past is predictive of future performance then I am screwed. The author George Santayan wrote that, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I do remember the past. That is not my problem. My problem is that my past haunts me. I remember failure and missed opportunity. I remember not giving it my all. I remember being satisfied not with the status quo, but with less than my best. I remember not being "resolved." Why try?

That is exactly what Satan wants us to believe. You started out last year reading your bible every day. Of course you tried to pray and spend more time with God in the first few months of 2011. Sure, you planned on putting your faith into action by going to Africa, or feeding the poor, or just sharing your story.... But you screwed up. You forgot to read the word for a couple days, which turns into a couple weeks. One day you were to busy to pray. The week was so hectic that you had to miss worship to get caught up at home. You became so preoccupied that you just did not see the chances to talk to your co-worker about what God has done in your life. You screwed up. Why try again?

Because God is not a god of second chances, he is a god of infinite chances. Infinite. If we sincerely apologize...or "repent" as the theologians like to call it, then God doesn't care about the screw ups. Shoot the bible says that if we repent he FORGETS our sins. He forgets!!!! To him its not a start over, again. But a new beginning.

First of all.. I am sorry God. Really I am. Sincerely. Sorry. Please forgive me. Secondly, this year I am going to get control of my weight. I am going to run a marathon. I am going to increase my mileage. This year I am going to read my bible. I am going to listen to my Lord. I am going to put my faith in action.

You can do it too. A do over. Start over, again.

I had a guy tell me that quitting smoking is easy. He had done it four times. I know exactly where he is coming from.

Off Balance

Today the treadmill was off balance.

My treadmill is in the basement. That is not a big deal for most people, but our basement is not level. Living in an old house has it's pluses and minuses. One minus is that basements were an after thought in homes made before the 1900's. The floor in our "dungeon" was finished in the 1950's. They used wheel barrow after wheel barrow to pour the concrete one four by four foot square at a time. This makes for a very durable but less than uniform surface. In order to keep the treadmill level, I have to use pieces of wood to prop up the back. If I didn't do this, I would be continually running up hill. Heck, I feel like I am already running up hill all the time, I do not need that sensation while I am on the dreadmill. Tonight the stupid wood wiggled out from under the rubber covered peg three times in the last mile of my run. I would be in full stride at 6.3 mph when all of a sudden the machine would start shaking. Do you know what a pain it is to have to stop three times in the last mile to level out a treadmill? It is impossible to run like that.

I hate it when my treadmill is off balance.

I feel like my life is off balance. I feel like the pieces of wood keeping me standing upright are wiggling out from under me. To much is pushing down on one end, while I am letting up on areas that should be given more attention. I feel like I can fall off at any moment. I stop to fix it...no I stop to put a band-aid on it only to have it lose its balance again. What can I do? I need to make sure that God is my fulcrum. He is my measuring tape, plum line, level. I need to stop using pieces of wood, like good deeds and kind words, to keep my life straight and balanced.

Seek first the kingdom of God and everything else will work itself out. Easier said than done. Sometimes it seems so hard to hear God's voice, but I can always find some pieces of wood lying around.

Hookey

I played hookey today from church. My family and I have been out of town for four days and got in late Saturday night. We unpacked and watched "Elf." I love that movie. "Hey Buddy, hope you find your dad." Midnight the movie was just ending and we knew that our family needed to regroup so we decided to stay home Sunday. There is a lot to be said for taking it easy on a Sunday. Preparing for the upcoming week, tying up loose ends, resting and recuperating were much needed for all of us. I am a firm believer that missing a Sunday morning service now and then is a necessary thing. Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in corporate worship, but you won't go to hell for not having perfect church attendance. Funny thing about playing church hookey, is that it allowed me to run at the same time all the church goers were walking into their stained glass windowed buildings.

I can't stand it when another runner passes me without acknowledging that I'm there. A simple "hi" or a slight wave is all it takes to let me know that I am on your radar. Please know, that this rarely, and I mean rarely ever happens. Other runners who are in their vehicles, honk, wave, yell, even turn around and drive back by. I love it. It makes me try harder, do better. It encourages me.

On my five mile trek this morning I passed several churches, four in a one mile stretch. As I passed each church, people were walking in, holding the door open for each other, hurrying to get out of the cold drizzle, laughing, carrying on conversations. What none of them did spoke louder to me than anything else. No one waved at me. Not one person said good morning. Not a single church goer even look at me. As I approached each house of worship, everyone, I kid you not, put their heads down and focused on the ground. No one acknowledge that I was there. I really don't get it. How could they act like this? "You are going into the house of God, yet you can't offer a kind word to a man on the sidewalk outside your building." I started to get angry. Very angry. I don't want anyone to think that I am anything like these people. A person so focused on going to church that they forget the main reason why they are there; to bring more people into the kingdom of God.

Maybe I'm being to hard on them. It was dreary outside. It was cold. It was rainy. Whatever the reason, I could have used some encouragement and a simple "hi" or wave would have gone along way. Maybe, just maybe they are so used to looking at the world through rose colored stained glass windows that they don't see the people wading through the darkness present in the world outside.

Just wave, just say "hi." Everyone could use some encouragment.

The Fitness Room

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

Today I ran on a treadmill in a hotel. Nothing like spending your morning alone, in a 10x12 foot room, while "A Mighty Wind" is blaring on the TV. The infamous water dispenser with the oil funnels to drink from and the world's roughest towels to wipe away the sweat. (I almost forgot the spray bottle of disinfectant you are supposed to use when finished.) Even the foreign treadmills are an enigma to me. It's like trying to drive a stick shift if you have only driven an automatic. The problem isn't only limited to, "How do speed this thing up?" or "How do you get this incline to go back down?" The true test is..."How do I turn this monster on?!?!".

Those features by themselves alone make that dreaded fitness room a booger. The biggest problem I had today was what covered the walls...giant mirrors.

Floor to ceiling mirrors. Who thought that was a great idea? Is it so I can watch my technique? Is it because they ran out of wall paper?Am i supposed to watch my flabby body wiggle while I work out and get inspired to exercise harder? Nothing like watching your "moobs" bounce while you try to run 3 miles. I know they are there, that's why I'm running. I don't need some sadistic exercise room designer to throw up a visual reminder of why I should be in the "fitness center." I'm not ignorant. I may be slow but I'm not stupid.

I rarely look at my spiritual body. What would that look like? I wonder if I look worse than I think. My spiritual fitness, I always thought, was pretty good. Granted I can use some toning or core work, but for the most part I feel like I'm in shape. I may feel like David but what if I look like a leper. It is important to exam where we are in our walk with God. It can keep us real. It can keep us from becoming complacent. It can help us to grow. It can show us parts of our lives that need to be stretched and strengthened. It can change the way the world sees us. It can make us more powerful than Goliath.

I'm afraid to look at myself in God's mirror. I may have "moobs."

Check out my personal blog
Http://Runinred.blogspot.com
All the cool kids are doing it.

Cincinnati Thanksgiving Day 10k

Faith

I'm writing this from my phone so I have to be brief. I'm a lousy texter, so you can imagine how typing this on my cell would really suck.

Thanksgiving day I got to run a 10k with my sister and wife. The longest my wife had run upto that point was 3 miles. She doubled her best!!! Can you believe it? I'm so proud of her. She didn't think she could do it, I knew she had it in her. I had faith in her.

Faith, believing in something unseen. That's all it takes. Sounds easy. But faith in God can be hard for me. Why is it easier for me to believe in my wife than my lord? What does faith mean to you? What do you believe in?

Faith, It's a powerful idea. I've been told it can change your life, raise the dead, move a mountain, and even finish a 6.25 mile race.

Check out my personal blog
Http://Runinred.blogspot.com
All the cool kids are doing it.