The beginning of a new year always fascinates me. People dream dreams, make plans, look to the future. Many think about trying something new. Some wipe their slate clean and resolve to start over. Last year I had one New Years Resolution.... Don't eat at McDonald's for the whole year. Not a very ambitious endeavour, but I did it all the same. 2011 was McD-less. What will 2012 bring?
For me it's going to be starting over. Again. I hate starting over, especially when it feels like I have done it a hundred times. Each year it seems that I start out with grand ideas only to have them fall apart. I did not get to run a marathon this past year. First missed year since I began running. I did not keep my weight off. I have gained a few pounds. I have not increased my mileage. Actually my mileage shrank in 2011. Today I ran 6 miles. I haven't ran six miles since Thanksgiving day.
Why try again? I'll only screw up. If the past is predictive of future performance then I am screwed. The author George Santayan wrote that, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." I do remember the past. That is not my problem. My problem is that my past haunts me. I remember failure and missed opportunity. I remember not giving it my all. I remember being satisfied not with the status quo, but with less than my best. I remember not being "resolved." Why try?
That is exactly what Satan wants us to believe. You started out last year reading your bible every day. Of course you tried to pray and spend more time with God in the first few months of 2011. Sure, you planned on putting your faith into action by going to Africa, or feeding the poor, or just sharing your story.... But you screwed up. You forgot to read the word for a couple days, which turns into a couple weeks. One day you were to busy to pray. The week was so hectic that you had to miss worship to get caught up at home. You became so preoccupied that you just did not see the chances to talk to your co-worker about what God has done in your life. You screwed up. Why try again?
Because God is not a god of second chances, he is a god of infinite chances. Infinite. If we sincerely apologize...or "repent" as the theologians like to call it, then God doesn't care about the screw ups. Shoot the bible says that if we repent he FORGETS our sins. He forgets!!!! To him its not a start over, again. But a new beginning.
First of all.. I am sorry God. Really I am. Sincerely. Sorry. Please forgive me. Secondly, this year I am going to get control of my weight. I am going to run a marathon. I am going to increase my mileage. This year I am going to read my bible. I am going to listen to my Lord. I am going to put my faith in action.
You can do it too. A do over. Start over, again.
I had a guy tell me that quitting smoking is easy. He had done it four times. I know exactly where he is coming from.
