I don't feel so good :(

I love it when people pass you by and ask, "How are you?" I don't think most people really mean that. What people should just say is, "Hello," and leave it at that or... "Hey I am asking "How are you doing?" but really all I mean is that I'm acknowledging to you that I should be interested in your well being. Really I'm just trying to act nice and give the perception of concern. But, if you are doing well, then I would love to hear it. If you are struggling, sick, have serious problems...I don't want you to share them with me. Just say, "I'm doing great," and keep on walking." Now that is honesty.

I don't feel so good today. I noticed on Friday that I was getting sick. About every fall I end up getting a stupid cold that lasts about a week and then goes away. This one is a doosie. My son thinks I have bronchitis. I think he is crazy. He is the one with bronchitis... and a double ear infection. Needless to say, I had to take off work to be with him today. I have only taken one personal sick day in all the time I have been working, about 25 years. Today, if Nate hadn't been ill, I would have gone on to work. My wife gets aggravated at me for never taking a sick day. I tell her, that its not that easy to get coverage for me. If I don't show up for work, the store doesn't open. All my employees need me. They cant do it without me. No one knows all the intricacies of that place but me. It would implode without me. Me, me, me....

It's funny how I feel that "I" am so important that I can't take a sick day. I sure don't hesitate to put the running shoes away. I didn't run Sunday or today. I knew that I needed my rest and time to recuperate. Running in the pouring rain is not what my body needs right now. Shoot, its all I can do to breathe right now. Can you imagine being sick and getting soaking wet in the cold? I also cut out all family time at home to rest. The past couple of nights I have went straight to bed. No staying up chatting with the kids or watching TV, just hitting the sack. Getting some extra shut eye. Why is it that I find it so easy to pick and choose what to give up? I understand that supporting my family comes before physical activity. I know that without my livelihood there would be no house or car payment. But without my health what would a person have? Without my family where would I be?

I guess I just don't understand myself. I want to run. I want to work. I want to be a better person, father, husband. I want to know my God more. Why is it that I find it so easy to pick and choose what to give up? God generally goes first, then running, then family just being honest. Work usually goes last. Something is screwed up there. Choosing my running and work over my God is just messed up. Even choosing my family over my God is just messed up. Thinking about how I can easily push him out of my life turns my stomach. It makes me physically ill.

I don't feel so good right now. I guess I do need a sick day



Ps. Props to Abby Thomas who taught my family the importance of wordle
check out her blog at thomastimeslikethese.blogspot.com