Nightmare

A good morning run helps make up for a bad night.

My pre-dawn run today was much needed....very much needed. Last night I had a horrible nightmare. Bad dreams are things I rarely ever have. Really, I can only remember one recurring nightmare as a child, something about a monster coming to get me. Pretty traumatic for a 6 year old. When the creature would get to me I found that I couldn't scream. I couldn't run. Can you believe it...I couldn't run. My wife and I feel wholeheartedly that the evil one tries to attack our little ones in the dream. I think he also goes after adults. He has left me alone for a long time, until last night.

I hesitate to tell you the exact details of this terrible dream because it had to do with my father's death. My brothers and sister and I are still grieving the loss of our parents and I don't believe that will subside anytime soon. Their deaths are still so near. We miss them both very much and express it in our own unique way. Therefore out of love for my siblings I will not share all the details, just know that it in no way put my parents in a bad light. What it did was to make me realize that my dad was gone. I tried to wake up, but couldn't. I tried to move, but couldn't. I tried to run but couldn't. I tried to scream, but could only get out muffled noises. I laid there in my bed and wanted to yell for help, wanted to cry out in agony, but my body wouldn't obey.

My words began to take shape, to take form until at last my groanings awoke my wife. Cathy touched me, held me. She asked me what was wrong. Shaking, crying I told her "My dad is dead." Cathy, gently and with infinte wisdom, whispered, "Oh no honey, Your dad is alive."

My dad is alive. My dad is alive!

As I ran this morning, I got a shiver down my back as I relived the nightmare. It was so vivid. So real. Then the cool air hit my face and my foot falls began to strike a melody on the pavement. I could see my breath form in front of me. I could hear my heart beating as I ran. It was like a symphony. A musical movement brought to life by the run. Life all around me, visible in my breath, audible in my beating heart.

Thank you God for your saving grace. Thank you, that through you we live and breath. Thank you, that through you we have eternal life. Thank you, that through you I will never perish. Thank you. Because of you my dad is alive. Thank you.