The Lottery

I completed my first race in May 2005. My sister and I ran the Flying Pig Half-Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio. If anyone wants to pick a 1/2 to do, I wholeheartedly suggest this one. Granted, I am partially biased, because I was born and reared right across the river, but this half and full are fantastic fun. Anyway... Just four months before, my sister had convinced me to start taking running seriously and train for this 13 mile foot race. I accepted her challenge and together we finished in 2 hours and 20 minutes. What a blast. I was now officially hooked. Running had taken hold of me and has yet to let go.

After the race was over (about 30 minutes) my sister turned to me and asked if I'd like to run the New York Marathon in November. Seriously? You see, this is how runners think. "When is my next race?" Well, without thinking I immediately said..."Sure." I had just agreed to run a 26.2 mile race in 6 months. Up until that point the most I had ever ran at one times was 13 miles, 30 minutes before.

Oh....and apparently there was a catch. You see my sister went on to inform me that unless you are an "elite runner," which of course I am not, you have to put your name in a lottery to get chosen. It's sort of like the power ball for runners. She told me that she and four of her marathon buddies were putting their names in and I would have to do the same.

So we all signed up for the lottery and awaited the names to be posted on the ING New York Marathon website. The day came. We all logged on to find out that of the 5 marathoners and 1 newbie who applied only the newbie was chosen. Me!! The guy who just started running got picked. I had never, ever, ever ran more than 13 miles in a row ever. The other five had multiple marathons under their belts. I thought for sure one of them would get the nod, not me. You have got to be kidding me. Surely someone screwed up. I was undeserving, incapable, and nowhere near ready. I was scared.

Today has been a very hard day for me.

Not because of my running, which by the way, was again on the treadmill, but because of what my God keeps putting in front of me. I feel uneasy, disturbed, and uncomfortable. I find myself just tearing up thinking about what he has in store for me and my family and not necessarily out of joy, but rather apprehension. I mean, why me? What you have planned for me is beyond me. I can't do it. I'm not very good at this Christian thing. Heck, a lot of the time I fall off the wagon. I am not mature enough. I really am not the right person for the job. Pick someone else. You must have made a mistake. There are a lot of other people out there that deserve this, that can handle this, that are prepared for this. I am not worthy, capable, or ready... I am scared.

Man.....Guess I won the lottery....What am I going to do with this?