Running with my eyes closed

Today was the first day in a while that I have run at a temperature below freezing (26degrees). It's really the first day of fall that felt like winter. So cold that the leaves on my neighbors ginkgo tree fell off in about 8 hours covering the bottom of the driveway with little yellow leaves. I like heading out in the morning when its good and cold a lot better than when its stinking hot. I really struggle to run in the heat, I think partly because I'm a little heavier than I should be. Also, I don't drink a lot of water. I drink quite a bit of pop (Diet Ale-8 to be specific, a local soft drink). Dehydration plays a significant part in my inability to finish strong in the summer. This morning was going to be a breeze.

False.

I hurt in my calves (gastrocnemius for you anatomy folks) not 20 feet from my house and I had 31,660 feet to go. Man was I in for a tough run. Usually when I start to struggle during a run, I start to think about my family. Mostly I think about my wife. I focus on her love for me, her sense of humor, her features, her touch, her wit, everything and anything about her. This keeps my mind off the fact that I am in pain or despair. It shifts my attention. I become less aware of how far I have come and how far I have to go. Before I know it, I have climbed the hill, turned the corner, cut the distance to only 2,560 feet. It's easy for me to think of her, because we are with each other every day and every night. We talk on the phone, text, laugh, cry, tease, disagree on a daily basis. I truly don't know what my day would look like without her voice in my head and face in my heart..... Yet I feel bad for focusing on her when I run.

Shouldn't I focus on God? I should. It is so difficult to shift my attention to him not because I haven't experienced him, but because I can't touch him. I want to talk, laugh, cry, disagree with him every day and every night. I want to feel his love for me, see his sense of humor, his touch, everything and anything about him, yet God can be so abstract.. I thought this over a lot this morning as I ran and kept coming back to the same thing.. God keeps telling me, "I am here, just open your eyes." "I am present in the falling leaves, in your wife's touch, in the cold fall air. "Listen to my voice in the lyrics of the song, or the words of the saint." "I am all around you." "Just open your eyes."

To often I run with my eyes closed.